Massive Attack - One Thought At A Time
I ask my room mate if she had a can opener. She walked into the kitchen, opened the silverware drawer, and pulled this out.
You know in Zoolander where Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller are looking for the files in the computer? They act like monkeys pressing buttons and smacking the mac around and the background music is appropriately dramatic? That's what I felt like trying to figure how in hell the above item was a can opener. I finally figured out that the little razor could be flipped up. Then I had to figure out how to use it.
After 10 minutes of metal scraping on metal sounds and extensive wrist force I got the can open 1/3. I'm smart enough to know I don't have to open the whole can to reach the pineapples inside.
After i finished my pineapples and drank the pineapple juice, I found flakes of metal at the bottom of my bowl.
I'm going to die. I'm going to die because this woman has a board special made to cut cheese, but she won't invest in a can opener.
| posted 6/01/2005 08:48:00 AM |
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3 Comments:
Yes. You are going to die.
-Manuella
you have never owned a utility knife have you???
Lets clear up some facts.
1) I'm in SPAIN.
2) I am living in another adult's house.
3) Utility knives are and American household tradition.
4) American household traditions do not carry over to socialist countries that hate American culture.
5) Normal people have normal can openers and don't need utility knives to open a can of pineapples.
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